How did we get HERE?!

So, quite a bit has happened since the last time I posted.  Mainly our big move into our "family home," or the house that we have no plans to leave.  We were fortunate enough to have assistance from family members to be able to purchase a home in Las Vegas now that Russell has a fabulous, stable job as a Physical Therapist.  This whole moving and settling process has caused a bit of uproar in my mental system and I'm still working to find and create our "normal" routine.  Unpacking is most def still going on.  [Side note: it is WAY more difficult to unpack when there is painting to do first!  Add to that 3 little ones to take care of and clean up after and it's no wonder we still look like we moved in yesterday.]  It doesn't feel normal being here yet and doesn't yet feel like our home--kinda feels like somewhere we'll be staying for a while, but not ours.  I hope by Christmas we'll have "a place for every thing and everything in its place."  That's the goal!  Anyway, with so many things covering the floor, I can't say I've vacuumed too much and I'm not excited to have to vacuum now 3,002 square feet.  (Oh, boo-hoo, right?)  Maybe Santa will bring a robot vacuum cleaner...  One can dream!

Speaking of dreams, did I not like just wake up in the hospital after having twins last week?! My babies turned 1!  So much more so than with Ty, I can't believe all of the things that they can do!  Today in church Avery was putting toys into a little container.  I was not aware she had the motor skills and patience or desire to play like that.  Lila, who has always been a little slow when it comes to moving/physical stuff, was standing for a while against Russell's leg, not holding on, just resting her bum and back against him.  Anyway, they're one year and 3 days old.  And I LOVE them.  Like lots.  We both do.  And so does everybody they meet.  I seriously believe that part of Avery and Lila's purpose on earth is bring joy to others.  I know they've already done so for Russell and me, but they are both happy girls who share contagious smiles.

Besides the twinsies getting bigger, quite a bit has changed for me.  A wise man (Uncle Al) said recently, "Things change when you get married and you have someone else to worry about.  Then it changes when you have a kid and then there's a lot more responsibility for you.  The last change is when you have enough kids to outnumber you!  Then it gets tricky."  Well, don't I know it!   My mom sent me a "Happy Birthday Lila and Avery" email, congratulating me on completing/surviving the first year.  Apparently, that's the hardest.  It very well may be for me.  I didn't exactly have the easiest year personally and while generally positive, the birth of the twins changed my life big time.  Not only are we outnumbered so it's difficult to go places, get things done, meet every little one's needs, etc. but I've had a bit of an identity crisis, well, maybe more of an indentity re-working. 

 It's nights like tonight that cause me to be more introspective: after coming home from church I was exhausted from a long weekend and fell asleep on the couch.  When I woke up, Lila and Avery were crying hysterically (because they were hungry, come to find out) and it took a while to calm them down and Russell was feeling ill, so he laid down.  The house is a mess from A&L's birthday party, my sister and fam being here, and life in general, so I was trying to clean that up before it all crusts over, but I needed to get kids fed and in bed.  I started to get nice and anxious and felt overwhelmed.  Part of my mind tells me, "This is no big deal.  Quit being a baby and getting anxious about this.  Just take care of it."  Then the *new* part of me starts taking shorter breaths and gets hot in the chest and my mind says, "AHH!  There's so much to do all at once and everything is going crazy and you can't handle it and you can never take a nap again if this is what you wake up to!"  Of course that's when I practice my deep breathing and don't push away the overwhelm-ness, but push through it.  The children went to bed just fine, hopefully Russell will be feeling well soon, and I had some time to write my thoughts. 

Anyway, I'm still learning and growing and am so happy to be able to do that in our new family home with the 4 people I love most.  Look forward to lots of pictures of little Gourlies!